Bad company
by Chalcckwaffle
Summary: FFFFFFFFFFFF I made this over the summer. This is my first real fanfic, and I'm not much of a writer. Tell me what you think
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: I never planned on writing fanfiction. One day, I was terribly bored and internet/tv deprived. Afret FOREVER, I finally got this one up. Enjoy~!

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape or form, own Hetalia or any of the characters.

"Ivan? Are you home?" There was a knock at the door. Oh God! It's Roderich! Roderich, the single, most handsome, talented man on this earth. I should probably answer the door, but my heart is pounding so hard I can barely move! Despite the reputation of my cold, emotionless appearance, I really do feel. And, right now, all I feel is intense love. A passionate feeling of intamacy towards the man standing outside that door.

"C-come in," I managed to squeak out. Shit! That sounded weak!

At that moment, a magnificent looking Austria entered the room. He was just so beautiful! My legs are shaking slightly, I hope he doesn't notice. He smiled a smile that would make any sane (or insane, for that matter) person fall for him.

"Hey, Ivan. How are you?" He said, still smiling that smile I love.

"Uh, hi!" Compose yourself, Ivan! I stood up straiter and smiled my usual smile. "Everything is fine with me. What about you, Roderich?" I picked up a bright, yellow sunflower off my end table and handed it to him. After taking the flower from my hand, he smiled warmly.

"I'm doing well, danke. This sunflower is beautiful," he said, sniffing it. There's that killer smile again!

"That's good. Whould you like to share some vodka with me? I've saved a bottle for your visit." I said while grinning, hoping that he would catch the hint.

"Mmmmm. That sounds great. I have news to tell you, anyway. It'll be nice over a glass of vodka," he said. Hmmmm... news? What kind of news could that be...?

"Da, it will." I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. We walked hand-in-hand to my kitchen where I was surprised to see Latvia waiting to serve us.

"Pryvet, Latvia," I said, still a bit surprised.

"H-hi, M-mr. Russia. Can I g-get you any th-thing?" he asked. I could tell that he was shaking. I sure hope Roddy dosn't notice...

"Hm... It would be great if you got Roderich and I some vodka," I said, smiling at Roderich, but he didn't seem to notice. I returned my attention to a shaking Latvia.

"V-vodka coming up!" Latvia said before scurrying off to retrieve the glasses. I lead my love to the table and sat down next to him. Latvia returned a moment later. He smiled shakily and set a couple of glasses in front of Roderich and me.

"Thank you, Latvia," I said and the smaller nation hurried away.I took a sip of my vodka and watched Roddy do the same.

"Mmmmm. This is lovely, Ivan! Danke," Russia said as he continues sipping on his vodka. I smiled lovingly at him.

"Anything for you, Roderich," I said, smill smiling affectionately. Roderich blushed slightly and cleared his throat.

"Uh... Ivan? About that thing I was going to tell you..." he started.

"Da?" I said slowly, not sure where he was going with this...

"Elezibeta and I are getting married. I came over to invite you to the wedding," he said slowly. MARRIED? How could he? Doesn't he know I love him? So many thoughts were zipping through my head at that moment, but none of them made their way to my lips. I dropped the glass of vodka that I was holding and it crashed to the floor. Endless enotions were going through my body at one time: Anger. Despiar. Hate. Love. Sadness. Self pity. Need- That's it! Need!

Need pumped through my veins like an empty void in me, calling out to be filled. Calling out for love. Wanting to be loved. Needing to be loved. Wanting the one person your heart aches when you're without them. The person that you can't help but smile when you're around them. The person that you want to give your entire being to, but what if they don't want you back...?


	2. Chapter 2

((SORRY FOR THE DELAY! I got lazy... Well, here's part two. Enjoy~))

((Told from Ivan's perspective))

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape or form, own Hetalia or any of the characters.

Roderich. The void in me calls for Roderich. Roderich's love. Roderich's killer smile. Roderich's infinate beauty. Roderich's obvious talent. Roderich's singsong voice. Roderich's intelligence. Roderich's warmth. All of Roderich! I want it all, but I can't have him. Roderich belongs to Elizebeta now...

Anger began to flare up inside of me. NYET! Hungary doesn't deserve him, I do! Why should she get to have him when I obviously love him more? She's ju-

"Ivan?" Roderich's sweet voice filled my ears and I almost forgot that I was angry. I opened my eyes and saw that beautiful face again. Anger completely forgotten, I looked down and realized the mess that I had made. The floor was covered in broken glass and a pool of vodka. I hesitantly looked up, not noticing the deep crimson color of my cheeks. Roderich giggled sweetly and I laughed too, although nothing at all seemed funny. At this point all I felt was hurt. Hurt and need. I pushed my childish feelings aside and returned my attention to the mess.

"Latvia," I called. A moment later the smaller nation appeared in the room. "Latvia, please clean up this mess"

"Y-yessir!" the trembling man squeaked before picking up the shards of glass. I turned my attention to Roderich again and my face returned to it's regular pale color.

"I'm sorry about that, Roderich... I just don't know what happened" I mumbled, hoping he wouldn't discover the real reason behind the disorientation. He just smiled sweetly and I couldn't help but smile back.

"No need to apologize," He spoke slowly and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I understand how you feel right now. It's how I felt when Elizebeta left me for Gilbert..." I saw a slight scowl on his lips as he continued. "I know this is difficult, but I'm sure you can find somebody else that will love you." He sighed and smiled over at me. It was not a mocking smile- Roderich would never mock me. However, it was a smile meant for comfort. That smaile made me feel like I could tell him anything- Like how I feel and why I'm upset. I feel safe with Roderich. I trust him. I actually considered the idea of talking about my feelings for a moment or two before vetoing it. Why should I pour my heart out to him when all he's going to do is tell me to move on and run back to Elizebeta? Instead, the childish feelings returned. I crossed my arms and turned away from him. Sure, it was immature, but I have the right to be a child every now and then, right?

"I should go now... Take care, Ivan." Roderich said quietly. I took a breath and let it out slowly as he stood up and walked away. As soon as I was sure that he was gone, I curled up into a ball on the floor and cried. I'm hurt. He hurt me and there's nothing I can do about it... or is there?


	3. Chapter 3

((FFFFFFFFFFFFFF ENJOY!))

((Austria's Perspective))

Disclaimer: I do not in any way, shape or form, own Hetalia or any of the characters.

It's my wedding day! I'm not at all as happy as I thought I would be on a day like this... Is it normal for somebody like me to be unsure about things right now? I mean, I love Elizebeta. When we got engaged, I was sure that this marriage would work out perfectly. But... I'm not sure if I love her as much as I did before... And she's obviously not against cheating. What if she runs off to Gilbert again? Maybe I'm just paranoid... That visit to Ivan's house really mixed up my mind. Is it possible to love two people at once? Well, now is not the time to time to worry about such matters... is it? I'm getting married in just a few short hours and I'm pacing around the room like an idiot! Thank God nobody can see me!

At that moment, there was a knock on the door. I reluctantly made my way to the door an and opened it. I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the man who stood before me...

He was tall and blonde. He wore a nice back suit with a dark crimson tie and a smile that sent chills down my spine. As If I needed something else to mark his identity, there was the pale pink scarf. I was absolutely speechless. I was positive that Ivan wouldn't show up, but here he is standing right in front of me.

"Hello, Roderich," he said. His smile was unlike his usual ones. Usually, in his smile, I saw happiness, desire and affection. This smile screamed pain and vengeance. I wanted to run- to get away from him, but a small voice told me to stay; it told me to listen to my heart.

"H-hi Ivan... What are you doing here?" I managed to stammer in a casual took a step closer to me and grinned. Alarmed, I took a step back.

"You invited me, da?" ha challenged me while taking yet another step closer to me. I stepped back at that moments and then another. Before I knew it, I was pinned against the wall and there was no way to get away.

"J-ja... I d-do remember..." I managed to croak.

"Good" he said flatly while taking off my glasses and tossing them to the side. "You love Hungary, da?" he asked almost mockingly.

"Uh. Yes. I do" I stated, hoping that I sounded more convincing than I felt.

"So you do not love me?" he asked in a monotone voice. What was he getting at? At that moment, I lost all composure. I looked down at the ground then back up at Ivan. I felt my legs tremble beneath the weight of my body, but I did nothing to stop them. I lost my balance and fell over onto Ivan's chest. He caught me without any effort and patted my head affectionately. I sobbed like a child and buried my face into his chest. I, then, looked up into his eyes and saw confusion, but satisfaction at the same time.

The reality of the situation is that I love Ivan! I love him so much, but that's not how things are supposed to go! I'm supposed to love Hungary. I'm marrying her in a few hours. She would be heartbroken if she knew I loved somebody else. I sure hope Ivan can keep a secret!

After a few minutes, looked up at Ivan. His expression was soft and he wiped the tears from my eyes.

"I-I just don't know, Ivan..." my voice cracked and I looked at the floor. "I do love you... And I know that you love me. But I'm with Hungary. Tha-" He interrupted me with a kiss. He roughly pressed his lips against mine and wrapped his arms around my waist. I want this! I want him so badly! ...But it's not right. As much as I wanted to stop kissing him, I couldn't. My body betrayed me. Just as I wrapped my arms around him, he pulled away and smiled.

"If you love me, you will be with me" he stated firmly. As sweet as his mentality was, I was still irritated.

"What? Ivan, I just told you that I can't." I said, puzzled by his lack of concern.

"And I told you that if you love me you will be with me," I looked up into his eyes and saw satisfaction, pain, and intensity. As I was marveling at his beautiful liquid violet eyes. he took me by surprise. Hi picked me up and draped me over his shoulder.

"IVAN? What are you doing?" I shouted.

"As I said before, if you love me, you will be with me," he repeated. As he began to leave the room, realization washed over me. He was kidnapping me! What would Hungary think if I wasn't here for the wedding? She'll think that don't care! I have to get away from Russia... or... Does she need to think that I don't care? Do I care?

Ivan set me down in the front seat of his car and set off in the direction of his house. What am I going to do? I'll be stuck inside the house like those poor Baltics... but, oddly enough, I wasn't afraid. Hugary will never forgive me...


	4. Chapter 4

((Here's the last chapter, ya'll))

Disclaimer: I do not- in any way, shape, or form- own hetalia or any of the characters!

I'm shaking. What's happening? Is the car broken? Is it the car that's being shaken, or is it just me?

"Roderich, dear?" Ivan's voice filled my ears. I groggily opened my eyes and saw a seemingly innocent Russia. I realized that, amidst my worrying, I had fallen asleep. I blinked sleepily and stepped out of the car.

"I… Uh… I'm sorry. I must have-"

"You don't have to apologize. You're cute when you sleep." He said with his usual smile. I blushed a little bit at his words then scolded myself. I'm marrying Hungary. I CAN'T love him.

"Uh…. Danke…" I said quietly. At that moment, he lifted me up again, as if he didn't trust me to walk on my own; as if I were to run away. I sighed angrily and waited for him to set me down again. A few moments later he opened the door and set me down in the doorway. I crossed my arms and sat down on his couch. Almost immediately afterwards, he sat down next to me. I sat there, grumbling to myself just as Ivan pulled me into his arms and left a small, quick kiss on my wasn't at all what I expected from him... I expected more... I smiled at him, completely forgetting about Hungary. I closed my eyes and brushed my lips against his, almost teasingly. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed our lips together. At that moment, passion filled my body to the brim. If there was previously any doubt in my mind about my love for Ivan, it was all gone. I am a fool. I told myself that I wouldn't fall in love with him, but I did! I know I shouldn't feel this way about Ivan, but I can't help it. I am unmistakably, unconditionally in love with Ivan Bragenski. Does this make me a bad person? I don't care anymore. I just want him.

He gently nibbled on my bottom lip as if to request entry to my mouth. I happily opened my mouth for him and his tongue brushed against mine. I was surprised when a moan escaped my lips. I let my tongue explore every region of Ivan's mouth and savored his sweet flavor of vodka and mint.

His kiss was warm and sweet- not at all what you would expect based on his appearance. I felt need, passion, warmth and desire in his kiss. I pulled away, realizing just how much he, not only loves me, but needs me. And the second thoughts about everything just disappeared. We fill voids in each other, similar to a puzzle. We fit together perfectly. As I noticed this, I began to cry again. He pulled me closer into his arms and stroked my hair, as if to try and comfort me.

"What's wrong, Roderich? You enjoyed that, da?" he asked, his voice much calmer than before.

"It's just that now... Now I truly love you. I'd do anything for you... but I gave my commitment to Elizebeta. I truly do want to be with you, but I can't!" I sobbed "I'm so sorry, Ivan! Please forg-" My voice trailed off as as I noticed the pain showing clearly on his face. He stood up and stomped out of the room, leaving me alone and confused on the couch. He returned a moment later with a large knife. The fear and concern that I felt must have shown in my eyes because he smiled an insane, wicked smile.

"I-Ivan...? W-what are you doing?" I asked, still sobbing.

"If you don't want me, I don't see the point in living" he stated, his shaky voice betraying the evil smile. He raised the blade to his neck and I couldn't help but sob even louder.

"P-please don't do this! I want you to stay here with me! Maybe we can't be together, but we can still be friends!" I protested, still weeping.

"Roderich," Ivan whispered. "I love you." he sliced through the soft flesh of his throat. All I could do was stare as the blood poured from his fatal wound. I sobbed more and more as he fell to his knees then on his stomach. Tears blurred my vision when I saw the blood pooling on the carpet around him. His final words echoed in my mind... over and over. "Roderich, I love you... Roderich I love you..."

The void left by him ate away at my insides. Seconds passed like minutes and minutes passel like hours. The longer I sat on that couch crying, the knife looked more and more inciting. It called to me, offering an end to all of this. I cuddled his lifeless body for a few minutes, saying my goodbyes to the one person that I've ever felt this way about- the only person I was sure that I loved. I picked up the bloody blade and did just as Ivan did. I laid back and waited for the pain to end. Through a red haze, I saw Ivan's beautiful, lifeless face. I closed my eyes and let my spirit slowly drift away to wherever Ivan's went...


End file.
